#6 endangered feces

sometimes when i get off of work early and i have nowhere to be i like to do what is often referred to as relaxation. that typically means i change into my sweats, find some food and plop down on the lovesac/couch to watch some tv. this doesn't happen too often. but it happened yesterday. my sisters are all home for spring break and a couple of them happened to be watching "what not to wear" so i decided to join them. i could write a novel on why that show is awkward but we'll wait on that one. but....this particular episode was extra bad. first off the lady they were helping looked more like a man than a woman. remember #3, gender confusion? this was part two of it. next awkward moment on the show: so they're doing interviews with people she knows. her friends are talking about why she needs fashion help and such. then they get her husband on there. and they're filming as he's digging through her closet and he says "i like to call this fleece mountain!" and he starts throwing out all kinds of hideous fleece clothing items. although i'm sure she all but murdered him later, who can blame the guy for loosing it at his wife? she had enough fleece to clothe an entire nation! so i'm thinking this is all really weird. she's full on crying as they throw away all of her terrible clothes-most of which are yep, you guessed it, fleece. and then they pull out a shirt and both just stop, speechless. have you ever seen one of those shirts that has different smiley faces showing all kinds of different moods and then a clever little saying about "what kind of mood are you in today?.." well the layout of this shirt was similar. only instead of smiley faces there were poops. yeah. it was showing all the different kinds of bowel possibilities. i'm sitting there with my jaw dropped wondering "is this for real...it can't be..." and then they zoom in on the bottom and it says "endangered feces" the three of us totally start freaking out. "rewind!!!! zoom back in on that shirt! ahhhh!!!!" this lady literally has a shirt that said endangered feces in big letters and had the names of all different kinds of poops with little pictures of each. and she was fighting with them when they tried to throw it away! she had mentioned that she likes wearing her fun t-shirts when she goes out on the weekends and stuff. to what event is it appropriate to wear the feces shirt?! i'm a pretty down to earth person and i like to laugh at slightly gross/crude stuff but i wouldn't be caught dead wearing a shirt with a small encyclopedia of poop printed on the front of it. anywhere. not even to bed. there's no way i wouldn't have disturbing dreams in that thing. some people's children...i tell you...

on another note though, that shirt would make and amazing white elephant/gift. not gonna lie. i considered looking for it online. then i thought of all the awful things i could come across in the process and i changed my mind. we'll leave the endangered feces alone for now.

awkward.